A Life's Catch
Dermot Layden

The Author

Dermot Layden, who is a loyal member of the Father Flanagan Sligo Prayer Group and a most staunch supporter of Father Flanagan ideals, published in March 2008 a beautiful book in hardback entitled “A Life’s Catch”. This book, which incidentally is receiving a very favourable public response, deals with many topics of a historical and other nature, but particularly it has a lot to say about living a positive and fruitful life with an eye to the future. We can heartily recommend the book to you. The book contains a section on Father Flanagan under the heading: “Learning from the Girls and Boys Town Model, USA”, and appears on pages 252 to 258 thereof.

This section includes a sample of the reflections by six of the girls and boys graduating from Girls and Boys Town campus in Omaha, Nebraska, in 2007. These reflections which make for very encouraging reading are reproduced below.

Dermot’s book is available in many shops throughout Ireland and can also be ordered from the Publishers by phoning 01–6174834 or by email at garrett@originalwriting.ie or buy online at www.originalwriting.ie/bookshop.  The book costs 25 euro and profits will be donated to charity.

Sample Reflections from the 2007 Class

Before I came, I was a little girl living a life of abuse, unhealthy relationships and pain. I was raised and taught all the wrong things in life. I was not brought up in a loving or stable home. I thought love was being severely beaten so you could learn your lesson. The more pain I received showed how much you were loved. I chose to deal with all of this with alcohol and drugs. Before I came, I was a lost child. You have given me an opportunity to live in a real family home. You took me into your heart. My Family-Teachers […] taught me so much about life. They even taught me to love myself so that I could love others well. They taught me to control my hatred and anger to show other emotions and to be a stronger person. Thank you Girls and Boys Town.

When I came I was a scared boy. I was in a gang. We hurt others and they hurt us. I was afraid someone would kill my mom. I always wanted to be alone. I kept my distance from all others. When I came to Girls and Boys Town, I knew I was ready. I didn’t want to have friends back home in … , who only wanted to sell drugs and shoot people for the fun of it. You have made me to grow up into a good man. I no longer skip school, hang around with the wrong people, treat girls with no respect and all those bad things. I don’t need to do that anymore. What I need to do is to continue what I am doing now at Girls and Boys Town. Thank you from my heart.

Before I came, I drank constantly at the age of 15. My mom died a year before I came. I was having a hard time dealing with her loss. I had moved five times in two years prior to coming here. No one could handle me. I was a depressed, angry person. I was mad at my mom. I found it hard to find peace with God and my family, who didn’t want to deal with me. I was on the same road my family was – the road to alcoholism. When I came, I was so used to moving that I thought it was just another move. I fit right in and the girls in my home and Family-Teachers made me feel welcome. I was determined to leave within a year. It was hard for me to accept feedback. I came in the summer and I couldn’t understand why these people all went to summer school. This place has done wonders for me. I never would have gotten through it if it were not for Girls and Boys Town. I have become an awesome and modest young lady. I have obtained a family. I have two parents for the first time in my life. I have become a better person. I never thought this was possible. I am going on to nursing school. This is because Girls and Boys Town believes in me and pushes me to excel.

Before I came, I knew all that I wanted was money. I knew my mom didn’t have any money for a boy like me and there was no sense asking her. She kept telling me that you will get money if you go to school, but I didn’t see too many people in school who had money either. There were people who were half the age of my mom getting money selling drugs. The gangs were there, so I was with them. When I came I didn’t want to change. Nobody told me about a point card or having to go to church. At first, I tried to scrape by until my 12 to 18 months was over. I did start to like school a little bit. It also felt good not to be selling drugs for the green. I started to work out – but I was still trying to go home. Something happened. I decided to stay. I know that I would not have graduated if I wasn’t here at Father Flanagan’s. I learned here how to survive better than I ever learned to survive on the streets. When I came, I hung out with the wrong crowd and was looking for love and happiness in all the wrong places. I was a dropout and didn’t care what anyone thought about me. When I came, I was lost and didn’t know what to do. I cried every day on the phone with my mom telling her this place couldn’t change me. I was wrong. It did change me. I gave this place a try and they really helped me tremendously reach my goals when others told me that I never could. You have helped me get a good education. You have given me a chance to learn more about life. You have helped me learn what a real family lives like. You have helped with building a better relationship with my family and helped me control my anger.

Before I came, I was angry at everything. I didn’t know right from wrong. I never had a chance to find out. When I came, I thought Girls and Boys Town was going to be a jail for bad boys. Then I found out it is not a jail, it is a home. I did not want to be here my first month because I did not open up and let my hurts out. I didn’t want anyone to tell me what to do. I grew up without a father, so I didn’t know anything about morality. Wow … I have changed. What you have done is something very special to me. You have given me the chance to find out how good it is to go to high school, to earn a diploma, to make friends, to go to church and to get a job. Thank you Girls and Boys Town.

Many of us have met at least one person who had the world handed to them by their mom and dad. I am not one to pass judgment but in my opinion that’s just asking for trouble. For example, here is a parent who really doesn’t know how to parent. Mom and dad give their daughter whatever she wants and call it good. They later find out she is very promiscuous and into drugs and alcohol. Giving their daughter everything she desired and not leading her on a structured way set her up for disaster. That is my story. I tested the waters to see how much I could get away with and how often, and soon nobody cared. It was way too late until I came here to Girls and Boys Town.